Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
