once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
