Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
