Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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