Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
