1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
