Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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