Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The power of my boobs compel you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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