that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
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I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.