Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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