no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
