Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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