Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
