Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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