Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
