Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
