nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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