My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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