I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So many bounce houses so little time
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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