apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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