cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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