yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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