Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
