wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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