so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
