So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
