It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
