Plan B is the new Plan A
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
