my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
