there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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