I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
