Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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