Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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