Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
