I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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