And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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