you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this will be a night to untag.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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