you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
