Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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