sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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