Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
