it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If I die, sorry about rent.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
