3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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