Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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