so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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