My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
