Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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