I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
