Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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