So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think a kid would responsible me up
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
