I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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