Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
tell me about the fingering
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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