I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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