that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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