end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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