Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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