Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
