I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
