I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
