Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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