508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Im part way to drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
